Warning: this is an OLD newsletter. Time marches on; things change. Information may be outdated, irrelevant, misleading or incorrect. (That means links may not work either. Unless it sends you to a porno site I won't fix it so don't tell me.) To get on the list to receive the next current newsletter, just e-mail me. It's free! What are you waiting for?

The Ami Simms Newsletter
September 2000

WELCOME
Glad you're all here! Thanks for opening the mail today. I must say our numbers have grown in leaps and bounds again! We're up to almost 6,700 subscribers and climbing. Thank you all for sharing these silly things with your friends! Keep it up!

For those of you new to the group, we started out on AOL and about a year or so ago moved the administration part of the newsletter over to www.OneList.com. They were swallowed up by www.eGroups.com, and now I hear that eGroups.com is about to be swallowed by www.yahoo.com! As far as I know this won't affect anything for us, but I'll keep you posted with what little I hear when it seems relevant.

CHIT CHATS
Don't forget our 4th Thursday chat in the AOL Chat Room. As usual it will be from 9 to 10 pm EST in the professional "staged" area of the chat rooms. Afterwards I'll pop in to our own personal chat room on eGroups.com (find the Ami-Simms-newsletter, then scroll down the left hand side and click CHAT) for a quick type.

HURRY---TIME IS RUNNING OUT
You've got until September 16 to take advantage of this great deal: Get an AUTOGRAPHED copy of Picture Play Quilts plus THREE 11" x 18" pieces of conversational FABRIC and PRIORITY SHIPPING within the United States for only $24.99! (Foreign orders pay $22.00 plus global priority shipping.) Michigan residents please add $1.49 sales tax.

If you've already placed your order, thank you. The books just came this week and we are shipping them out as fast as we can get them in the envelopes. The number of orders has been a little overwhelming. OK, a LOT overwhelming. As in, please be patient. By time we take the orders off the computer, they are replaced with new orders! I'm smiling so hard my face hurts! We're processing them as fast as we can and since I really like to make sure the right book goes in the right package, this is slowing us down just a tad. I just hope the mail man doesn't get a hernia! So, YES, your book is coming! REAL SOON! Honest!!

SEPTEMBER 22-24, 2000
If you're anywhere near Genesee County, Michigan come to the Genesee County Quilt Extravaganza. Details can be found at www.quilt.com/.FlintShow. Details for my Open House can be found at www.PicturePlayQuilts.com along with pictures and descriptions of all the cool stuff you can win at my lecture. Call 1-800-278-4824 for lecture tickets or get them at my web site. Please don't wait until the last minute as space is limited and I don't want to turn you away at the door, nor do I want you to miss a chance at some terrific door prizes donated by Crosley-Griffith Publishing, ARDCO Precision Metal Templates, Feathered Star Productions, Inc., Clearview Triangle, OLFA Products Group, Piece O' Cake Designs, Inc., New England Wood Products, Marcus Brothers Textiles, Inc., Zellerwood Originals, Coats & Clark, and Jamark Laboratories. If you're coming for the Open House from 1 to 9pm, just show up. No tickets are necessary.

ON THE ROAD AGAIN
Just got back from a great time in Berrien Springs, Michigan with a visit to the Town & Country Quilt Guild. Before that is was Nashville with the AQS 2000 Show. It was great to see so many of you from the newsletter. Thanks for coming up and saying hello! If anybody is on their way to Nashville, or lives there, we found a terrific Mexican restaurant:

El Alteno Mexican
900 Conference Drive
Goodlett, TN 37072
(615) 855-2993

INCREDIBLE QUILT
I got a chance to see this quilt in Nashville. Nothing short of amazing. Take a look at this URL: http://www.the supper.net

BE CAREFUL
A reader found this warning label on a Sears Lawn Mower: Warning - Do not use to prune hedges.

GREAT PHOTO-TRANSFER IDEAS
Ann Woodhead takes baby announcements, photo transfers them, and incorporates them into labels for the baby quilts. She adds the necessary information around the edge of the announcement before photo transferring. She also photo-transfers wedding invitations and uses them as the center medallion for autograph quilts she makes for the bride and groom. Way to go, Ann!

THE VIRTUAL QUILT
Planet Patchwork's The Virtual Quilt newsletter is now free! TVQ is full of in-depth reviews of products, profiles of quilters, quilt shop and show reviews, and lots of other goodies for quilters. It's delivered to your e-mail inbox 8 times a year and is also available at in a colorful Acrobat format at http://planetpatchwork.com/passtvq/ftpserv.htm Planet Patchwork recently decided to eliminate the small annual subscription fee and make the newsletter available to everyone free of charge. You can subscribe online at http://lyris.planetpatchwork.com/scripts/lyris.pl? enter=tvq&text_mode=0&lang=english While you're visiting Planet Patchwork, be sure to check out all of their online features and links for quilters. http://planetpatchwork.com

COMPUTER PROGRAMS FOR QUILT DESIGN
Interested in a computer program to design your quilts? Head over to http://www.SoftExpressions.com for reviews on over 23 programs, one of which is sure to make your life easier. There's even shareware and freeware for your designing needs. The brainchild of Sharla Hicks, a real live quilting teacher and computer quilting expert, this Web site is dedicated to offering discount quilting software, extensive tutorials, and how-to support. What could be better? She also sells books, notions, foundation paper piecing supplies and much more. While you're at her site, sign up to get the free on-line Computer Quilting BYTES Newsletter.

LETTER FROM DAISY
I had accidentally left my computer on when I left the house the other day and found this on the screen when I came back. Very unusual...

Dear Mom,
Daisy here. Sorry I haven't written. My people hardly ever leave me alone, plus it took me forever to get on-line. Don't worry, I've seen Dharma, Visteon, Star, Gracie and Mulan. We're all doing fine. Don't know about the other four yet. Anyway, just wanted to let you know what's been going on. Once your humans dropped us off at Leader Dogs for the Blind, they sure didn't let any grass grow under my paws. I was adopted out within the week, in fact I was the first of the litter to be picked up. My foster family are strange, but I'm getting used to them.

There's a tall skinny one called the Ami. She's the one you gotta watch out for. Eyes in the back of her head. She thinks she's the alpha dog. Yeah, right. When will these humans learn? Don't worry, Ma, I'm workin' on her.

Then there's a little skinny one who is really nice. She's the Jennie. The Jennie and the Ami have the same agenda, but she is SO much easier to deal with. Then there's my favorite, the Steve. From what I gather the other two were supposed to be my primary people, the ones in charge of my training, but as soon as he saw me, well, what can I say. I am cute, right? I've got him wrapped around my little paw. This guy LOVES me.

There are also a couple of other dogs in the house who look just like me, but they won't come out and play. There's one behind the door in the bedroom upstairs and one that looks really frightened on the bathroom counter. Every time my humans put me up there I freak out, so I haven't gotten a really good look at her.

Like I said, my people are kind of weird. Don't get me wrong, they mean well, but you know, they're like from a different planet. First of all, they are totally fixated with my bodily functions. They measure everything I eat and then watch it come out the other end. People, get a LIFE! The Ami is especially strange about this. I gotta do tricks before she'll even put the dang bowl down. Something called SIT. I think I've got that part down. I get real still, look her straight in the eyes, and give her the "I love you" look. She eats it up, but then she sticks her paw in front of my face and says STAY. Like I'm gonna walk away from my food!? What is she, nuts? So I jump up and dance and whine and jump some more to tell her not to worry, I'm so hungry I could eat the bowl and part of her arm too, and then she does the "talk to the paw" bit all over again. She just won't give up. I wish I knew what I'm supposed to do here, but truthfully, I'm clueless.

To show her how much I like her cooking, even though I know she can't cook (gets the stuff right out of a bag.) I eat as fast as I can. Then I..... (Continued at www.MalleryPress.com. Click on PUPPY. Then click to see the latest adventure.)

ENTER TO WIN
After you're finished looking at the puppy, head over to http://www. PicturePlayQuilts.com and click on WIN to enter our first ever on- line contest. This month you can win 75 pieces of terrific fabric from Clothworks. You can enter as many times as you like. The drawing will be on October 26th. Good luck!

Have a great day of quilting,
Ami Simms