Click to enlargeBadly Stained Glass

Hello. I affectionatly call this masterpeice, "Badly Stained Glass".

I made it in 1987 from a pattern in Better Homes and Gardens. At the time I had trouble with precise cutting (OK, I didn't put much effort into to that part at all because it wasn't fun) so when the front was completed, the seams didn't match. I solved this problem with black grosgrain ribbon, which I stitched over the non matched seams. I told myself it looks like stained glass. Well, it might if the beholder suffered tragically from a serious visual impairment. Stained glass might also be apt if it weren't for the actual stains which bear no resemblance whatsoever to glass. Hence the name.

I was tired of working on it so I didn't make a back. I wanted a black sheet to be the backing but lo and behold, none were in Sears in that size. So I bought dark blue (see bottom left where the back is visible) Not sure exactly WHAT's inside but it never did lie flat. Quilting stitches? I skipped that step too.

Age has not improved it. It has stains of dubious and possibly frightening origin. The small white blobs scattered over it are hairballs. The biggest hairball is my cat SpongeBob. He is embarrassed to be seen with my quilt. Even as I type, he is contemplating it's possible alternative function as a litterbox. (Don't even THINK about it, Bob!)

My name is Suzanne Zaremba, and I'm a recovering quilter.

(Sorry, you'll have to do better.)